Embracing First-Born Syndrome: A Journey of Faith, Family, Holistic Living and a life of Service.

In the intricate tapestry of family dynamics, the role of the first-born child often carries a weighty responsibility. As the eldest of four siblings and the first male born child, I grew up under the watchful eye of my father, a strict yet loving man, who instilled in me the values of discipline and leadership. He was firm 24/7, your typical old school father who thinks discipline and order first, conversation second.

His passing marked the beginning of a profound struggle, where the demands of my young family clashed with the needs of my grieving mother and siblings, what I wanted, needed, expected and intended for myself was going to take a back seat. Putting others first at my own expense was nothing new. After all, I am the first born, & a male African child, step up I had to do.

Navigating the complexities of first-born syndrome, coupled with an undiagnosed ADHD and anxiety conditions, I found myself trapped in a cycle of perpetual caregiving, Saviour Syndrome, my constant companion. Saying “NO” was foreign to me, and my own struggles were overshadowed by the needs of others.

At the age of 41, I faced a pivotal moment. Seeking help, I received a diagnosis that changed my life – ADHD. This revelation became a catalyst for my transformation. Embracing the belief that learning should never stop and challenging oneself should never end, I embarked on a profound journey of self-discovery and resilience.

Over the past 15 months, I have witnessed remarkable changes. What was once an insurmountable task—running even 200 meters—became achievable. I pushed my limits and can now run a full marathon, covering 42 kilometers. My ability to focus, once limited to mere minutes, transformed into hyper-focus, allowing me to work diligently for hours on end.

Imposter syndrome was my baby brother for many years prior to this diagnosis, through Assertive communication lessons, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and transformational positive vocabulary usage, my confidence returned. My own Ego I now understand better. Humility my new brother.

Crucially, I rediscovered the power of saying “NO” and putting myself first. I Rediscovered a few long lost Self -Renewing compulsions like long distance running, walking, reading, writing and learning. This transformation didn’t come easy; it required unwavering faith and a commitment to self-improvement. My faith became the cornerstone of my resilience, guiding me through the darkest moments and fueling my determination to serve others effectively.

This journey taught me that our potential is limitless, and our ability to overcome challenges knows no bounds. By embracing vulnerability, seeking help, and prioritizing self-care, we can achieve remarkable feats. As first-borns, we can rewrite our narratives, redefining our roles and responsibilities in a way that allows us to thrive while supporting others.

To lead is to follow. To guide is to delegate. To succeed as a leader is to listen, observe, discern and learn from others. My siblings, I started to watch keenly and study them. My friends, I began championing.

Let us remember that learning is a lifelong endeavor, and challenging ourselves is the key to continuous growth. By sharing our stories, supporting one another, and fostering a community of resilience, we can inspire future generations to embrace their vulnerabilities, pursue their passions, and live life to the fullest.

My story is a testament to the transformative power of faith, self-discovery, and the pursuit of a balanced life. It serves as a reminder that our potential is limitless, and our ability to overcome challenges knows no bounds. By embracing vulnerability and fostering a mindful existence, we can achieve remarkable feats and inspire others along the way.

As I share my journey, I invite you to reflect on your own path. Embrace the challenges, seek help when needed, and never stop learning. Let us create a community where faith, family, and holistic living with Service to others, are not just ideals but tangible realities. Together, we can rewrite the narrative surrounding first-born syndrome, transforming it from a burden into a source of strength and resilience.

In faith, family, mindful living and service, we find the power to not only survive but to thrive, illuminating the path for others to follow, living your life alot happier & alot more balanced.